on the surface

Two days ago, I watched a Robin pull and stretch a worm from the thawing ground. The Easter Bunny came. Brought the sunshine and brightly colored goodies, as always. Now, the ground is blanketed in white. We’ve been fooled again by the promise of Spring—what we ever really get of it—and the hope of a Summer that lasts more than two months.

So, it goes.

There’s a lot to do, but nothing to do. A funk below the surface that would gladly pull me under, but I don’t get sucked down into it anymore. Not like I used to. Going there, into the darkness, willingly most days, one sip at a time. Now, I prefer to take what I’ve learned from so many trips down the tunnel and apply the lessons here, on the surface.

I don’t need anything else down there. I know what’s there. I understand how it works. Many that explore those depths for long periods of time, never completely come back to the surface. I’m happy that I was able to find my way to the top. That I have control. Not to have control, but to have my life. My consciousness. My beliefs, my lack of beliefs, my rights, and my wrongs. My wife and kids. Down there, you may think you’re in control, that you have friends, but you’re only widening the expanse of the darkness. Making it more and more difficult to find the light. Making yourself more alone. And when you do pop up to make the necessary appearance, the darkness comes with you. I know firsthand.

Make of that what you will.

So, I am on the surface today willing to do the tasks necessary to participate in this experiment. There’s value in this, as my contributions—like yours—no matter how minuscule, have a lasting impact upon others. Creatures, plants, and humans alike. It’s another day of making better decisions. Having more clarity and reason. Making amends for bringing unnecessary darkness into people’s lives. And I’m listening and watching. As best I can. For those that are still down there. Just in case they call for help, so I can offer a hand.

~ KJ

2 responses to “on the surface”

  1. I have learned that when life hits you hard and you feel like you’re drowning and can’t breathe, you must take the time and remember how far you’ve come and all the amazing things in life we are still meant to do. The world needs our smile, our sunshine, we all go through so much in life. I know that life can hurt at times, but it’s the hug, the I love you, the kind word that can make a difference in life. Those little moments mean the most. One day we’ll all look back on a life so well lived and we’ll realize it was all worth it. It’s like when we see the beauty in life, like the first Robin in spring.

    Liked by 1 person

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