Was in bed until 7:47 am. I’d like to say it’s because I was conked out peacefully all night. But that would be inaccurate. Fantasy. The real bit is that I stayed up longer than usual watching the Lions lose, I’m getting older, and the past several weeks have been bumpier than I let on. I am tired. If it wasn’t for the invisible winter sunrise and my brain urging me to get up and at the monotonous morning routine, I would have stayed in bed. For how long, I’m not sure.
But this little life relies on me. I have things to do, and I’m willing and able.
One day, that’ll not be the case. And that reminder, the “one day,” changes my approach to how I engage with my mind, feelings, and actions. Being aware that I’ll encounter a time when there are no days, or that my existence and how I experience it may be greatly altered, tempers expectations and readies me for opportunities that are always present in whatever comes. This ensures an ever-flowing undertone of hope.
And we all need that, don’t we?
Taking down the old calendar and putting up the new. A whole fresh set of empty boxes, untouched. Ready for our making.
What will you choose to do?
Transfer over important dates from last year? Plan a little getaway? Pencil in more me time?
Maybe announce to the world your commitment to a new you, all diet and exercise, sharing jogging logs and smoothie recipes?
Or better yet, proclamations and filtered photos of a sudden acceptance of yourself and awareness of how happy you are just being you?
Or maybe not.
Maybe you’ll sober up. Go deeper. Get into the guts of it. And force yourself into awkward situations that cause discomfort and uncertainty, requiring you to listen closely, rise taller, and fight more fairly, so that at the end—whatever and whenever that is—you will have grown.
Happy New Year.
~ KJ
Leave a Reply