Parenting 2019

You’re not parenting. You’re giving in.

I’m not sure if it’s laziness or delusional behavior, but the way you’re doing it is wrong. Unless your kid can pull herself up by her bootstraps and make herself better because of some intrinsic values given to her by God, magic, or happenstance, she’s probably going to repeat the shitty pattern you’ve laid out before her.

Pop-Tarts, Mountain Dew, and candy bars.

Pajama pants in public, 33 extra pounds, and selfishness.

Throwing your weight around like you matter.

You fucking dummy.

We are on a ball of dirt, whirling through space and time, and you actually believe you’re special? That you’re somebody? A force to be reckoned with that deserves respect?

Get over yourself.

You cling to people that support your thoughts because you’re afraid of growth, change, and accountability.

Blame the government. Blame your neighbors. Blame your genes, your family, your friends.

The issue here isn’t everyone else.

It’s you.

Parking like an asshole.

Cutting in line.

Putting people down so you feel better.

Parenting via fats, carbs, wifi, and stupidity.

Dragging your kid down, down, down.

Burying her in layers and layers that will shield her from ever having the opportunity to live the life of beauty she was meant to have.

All because you’re just another mouth-breather.

Afraid to rise up, do the work that’s important, put on your big-boy pants, and take a stand.


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